This week on ‘A Bucket of Popcorn,’ we have Swati Utkur, a new mom from Bay Area, California, sharing her joy of motherhood, balancing relationships and how the family of three is coping during the pandemic.
I am in constant awe of all the mothers and babies around me. I feel like our mothers are the first heroines (strongest women) we meet, as babies, when we first come into this world. The pain a mother goes through to give birth is unimaginable- it is similar to having 20 bones fractured at one time. So if you twitched your eye, or said ‘yikes’ to yourself, run over and hug your mommies, I will be waiting. And if she is not around make sure you do the next time you see her. Getting back, I believe the choice to become a mother is to be one of the greatest teachers there is.
A mother’s determination when it comes to the well-being of her children is something that we can only hope to have one day. The perseverance with which they run a household while trying to balance their lives is commendable. Today, we look at one such strong and modern age mother who shares her experience with us.
“Observe, play, feed, sleep, repeat.” This is how a day in Swati Utkur’s life, a new mom and a marketing professional, looks like, she told ‘A Bucket of Popcorn’. She welcomed her baby son, Agastya – her first child – in June with her husband, Amit, after keeping her pregnancy news intimate.
She spoke about her pregnancy, enjoying motherhood, balancing other relationships in life and how self-love is even more important after giving birth. Utkur also shared how she is adjusting to becoming a first-time mother in the midst of a global pandemic. Even over the video call, her grace and brilliant spirit shone through, along with her inspiring message to other new mothers: “don’t ever give up on where your faith lies.”
So, grab a bucket of popcorn and let’s begin…
How did you come up with his name?
It was a leap of faith that worked for us. I think I am an expert when it comes to naming babies. But, whichever names I was suggesting, Amit kept encouraging me and said, “I know you can do better than that.” It was our fun activity together, which we enjoyed doing. Throughout the pregnancy, there were few names we both adored, and we kept adding them to our shortlist. The day before my delivery, we made chits of those shortlisted names. Amit made me pick one and said that it was going to be our baby’s name. I was happy with any name that came up that day, but I am so glad we chose Agastya. It has a combination of the letters from my and Amit’s names, his A and my ST.
What is your absolute favourite thing about motherhood?
The moment you become a mother itself! I will never forget that moment when I saw my baby’s face for the first time. I remember hearing Amit saying, “Swatu, our baby is so cute!” There were so many emotions I was feeling that day. All the pain and sacrifices were worth it when you finally meet someone whom you love unconditionally.
I will never forget that moment when I saw my baby’s face for the first time.
One of the most challenging things about being a mother?
There are a lot of things that can stress you out during parenthood. I would say making sure your baby eats well is every mother’s concern right from the day you conceive. I was aware of my health and my diet because I knew it would impact the baby. Now I relate to my mother when she said I looked skinny and had lost weight – when I met her after a long time – even if I had gained a few extra pounds.
How are you balancing your life and being a mother?
It is not easy at all. I discontinued working to reserve my time for our little one. But hats off to those mothers who resume their work immediately.
I have realized one thing, no matter how occupied your baby is keeping you, you should have your ‘ME’ time.
You should pursue your passion and do what you enjoy. Trust me this will help keep you sane amidst all the madness.
For me, I love clicking photographs and creating content on social media. And even after having Agastya, I made sure I continued doing that. I keep myself updated with the ongoing trends – in marketing & fashion. It is my way of self-care therapy.
What are some of the newborn essentials that you swear by?
I will share my top five:
- I prefer using organic and eco-friendly products. We are using the Honest brand for Agastya.
- Use natural products on your baby’s skin & hair.
- Dr. Brown’s baby bottles are a must-have.
- Good quality cotton baby clothes and bibs (You will need a lot of them initially.)
- A butt paste or diaper rash cream.
How was the experience of having a baby during Covid times?
My mother and my brother were supposed to fly in from India, in May 2020. But unfortunately, the COVID-19 situation was surging and was at its peak. Amit and I were on our own with some virtual help from our mothers through FaceTime. Thank god for technology. Also, we are grateful to have our friends and cousins here who are always there to support us.
Amit and I were on our own with some virtual help from our mothers through FaceTime. Thank god for technology.
One of the toughest phases postpartum was to see Agastya cry after a drive or a doctor’s appointment until we changed and took a bath. We felt helpless for not being able to comfort him immediately. I have never missed having my mother by my side this much.
Has your relationship with your husband or friends changed since having your child?
We are enjoying this time together. Let us wait and watch what happens after five years. Honestly, even if you share a close bond with your partner, you will find yourself in stressful situations. It is like being a contestant in a reality show, where every day you will have something new happening. It is a learning experience with each passing day.
I am so glad I had Amit throughout this process. Working-from-home was a blessing in disguise for both of us.
He took excellent care of us and also entertained us. I feel it is equally difficult for fathers to go through this process, but I am sure every father performs all the duties like super-heroes.
My friends do understand that I have Agastya’s added responsibility. So even if we are not chatting or talking on the phone daily- I get my share of their whereabouts once a week.
What is it like having your first baby at an older age?
I feel like times have changed. My parents supported and respected my choices when I wanted to focus on my career. And I am so thankful for that. My mother never forced me to get married. She wanted me to make this important decision when I was ready. Amit and I got married in our early 30s – later than the typical age of getting married in India. Naturally, we chose to enjoy our time together and then plan to have a baby. But by god’s grace, it was sooner than we expected.
I think being a mother at any age is a beautiful experience.
A Bucket Of Popcorn 
One reply on “An adventure called motherhood”
Thank you for the feature❤️
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